June 12, 2012

Well Go USA and Variance are ready to kick ass with 'Tai Chi O'

Well Go USA and Variance Films have teamed up to bring "the most awesome film ever made" to the big screen. Directed by Stephen Fung, Tai Chi O will hit theaters on October 26th.   Check out the press release below, which made me chuckle. Hell, any press release that has "Holy Crap" emblazoned across the top is a winner with me!

Well Go USA discovers TAI CHI 0, which is clearly the most awesome film ever made, and is teaming with Variance to unleash it in theaters everywhere on October 26th.
New York, June 12, 2012 – Everyone knows Well Go USA Entertainment, who brought you such kung-fu badassery as IP MAN, IP MAN 2, LEGEND OF THE FIST and SHAOLIN is the best home entertainment company ever.  It is also clear that Variance Films, whose corporate motto is “we are not afraid of you and we will beat your ass,” is probably the best theatrical distributor of all time.
In their exhaustive travels, Well Go USA discovered a film called TAI CHI 0, which may be the most awesome film ever made.  For proof:
  • It is a steampunk martial arts film.
  • It’s from the creators of SHAOLIN SOCCER and DETECTIVE DEE.
  • It features choreography by the legendary Sammo Hung.
Well Go USA and Variance Films, being true of heart and sound of mind, have immediately decided that this film must be released to movie theaters across the United States and Canada as quickly as possible.  So on October 26th, as an election battle rages and the big studios try and release crappy horror sequels and cheapie found-footage movies, the awesome of TAI CHI 0 will be unleashed on an unsuspecting continent.  But you, dear reader, will be prepared, because you’re reading this now and making your plans in advance.  THE INTERNET PAYS OFF AGAIN.
“It’s awesome, it’s martial arts, it’s gorgeous and groundbreaking and a no-brainer. We’re massive fans and freaked out when we saw it.”, said Jason Pfardrescher, Vice President of Well Go USA.
“This is not just a pretty good movie that you tweet about afterwards,” said Dylan Marchetti, Founder of Variance Films.  “This is the kind of movie where, after it’s done, you walk out of the theater with a look of silent determination on your face and drive silently over to your friend’s house (the one who didn’t come with you because he had a paper to write or something lame like that), knock on his door, and when he opens, you slap him across the face.  Not a movie slap, I mean a hard slap, one with enough force to knock your friend straight to the ground.  And as he looks up at you, a solitary tear running down his increasingly reddening cheek, he will see the look in your eyes and realize that he has missed what would have been one of the most important experiences of his life, one that could have changed his life, had he simply bothered to show up at the theater. The night that follows will be a dark one for him -- full of the kind of soul-crushing doubt and fears that can cause someone’s heart to race while lying in bed- until the next morning, where he will be sitting in front of the theater box office hours before it opens on the off chance the internet is wrong and there IS a show at 5:30 AM, rocking back and forth, nothing but a pile of tears and sadness, and completely inconsolable until the theater finally opens and next show of TAI CHI 0 starts.”
From the creators of DETECTIVE DEE and SHAOLIN SOCCER, featuring martial arts choreography by the legendary Sammo Hung (IP MAN 2: LEGEND OF THE GRANDMASTER), and produced by international megastar Jet Li (HERO, THE EXPENDABLES, FEARLESS), TAI CHI 0 tells the story of Yang Luchan, a young genius who, tired of being picked on, travels to Chen Village to learn the art of Tai Chi.  Luchan finds out the hard way that it is forbidden for a villager to teach an outsider when the villagers, from strong men to old women to little children, repeatedly challenge him to a series of fights, all of which he loses quite badly. 
But when a frightening army of steampunk soldiers bearing strange machines shows up, the villagers realize that in order to save their home, they must trust this strange outsider with the knowledge of Tai Chi.  Directed by Stephen Fung, TAI CHI 0 is the first of a planned trilogy.

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